There is a resounding theme among purveyors of the art of boudoir. You’ll find that there is a vast majority that attach the genre to a concept of taboo-ism. That it’s meant to be a “your eyes only” project for a significant other. However, there is so much more to what a boudoir session can accomplish. Sure, it’s a great gift for someone else. It’s an even better gift for yourself, though.
Our society, our culture, our media, our advertising – all of it is centered on one theme: you’re not good enough as you are.
This makeup get rid of your wrinkles!
This crème gets rid of your dark spots!
Don’t have freckles? Here’s how to get them!
Your lashes are too short. Try this extension!
You need to lose or gain weight. Drink this magic potion and your life will change!
Here’s the thing, though. All of that stuff? It’s a cover up. It’s a mask. We’re given an ideal and we’re expected to conform to it. And I’m not JUST talking about women. I’m not JUST talking to the curvy girls. I’m talking about humanity as a whole. You have to be sassy, but not bossy. You have to be demure, but not weak. You have to be cute, but not childish. You have to firm, but not demanding. You have to be confident, but not too much or you’ll be labeled conceited.
When does that stop? Where is the line? Who says how far you have to go to get where society says that you *fit* all the sudden?
There’s something that transpires during a boudoir or beauty session (because it doesn’t ONLY happen when you take your clothes off!). When you have a photographer who knows the insides and outs of posing, of lighting, of body language, they’re able to show you the light that radiates from within. We’re so critical of ourselves that we don’t see it. The majority of the time, we look in the mirror and tear ourselves apart. But when you sit down across from a stranger, do you tear them apart in your mind? Are you thinking about how one ear is a little higher than the other? How their cowlicks are obvious and annoying? What about that muffin top that comes out when they’re sitting down? Or whether their shoes match their purse? How about how straight their teeth are?
NO! So, why do we do it to ourselves???
It starts with you. It starts with making the conscious decision every morning to love yourself where you’re at.
Am I saying makeup is bad? NO. Am I saying you shouldn’t strive to be better than you were yesterday? NO. I AM saying that at some point, you have to wake up from the brainwashing and realize that our appearances don’t dictate what we deserve. We ALL deserve love. We ALL deserve respect. We ALL deserve to look in the mirror and love what we see.
There are no two bodies exactly alike. Maybe I love my hands, but you think your fingers are short and stubby. Maybe you love your legs, but I think mine are disproportionate. Our standards, though, begin with us. By attacking the subconscious rules that we have created for ourselves, we can live a happier life. When you’re not focused on everything being perfect, all the sudden, you have the capacity to see more than yourself.
So, start today. When you look in the mirror, pick something you love and compliment it. I don’t care what it is or where you start.
“Wow, my eyes really sparkle when I’m happy.”
“My ankles are just right.”
“My abs are on point today!”
“My hair looks amazing.”
Why do this? Positive reinforcement for yourself radiates out to those around you. And we need all the positivity we can get right now. SEE yourself with someone else’s eyes. SEE those around you and what makes them special and beautiful (or handsome).
Next? I want you to compliment someone every day (if you leave the house, in person. if you don’t, online). Think about how your words impact others. Try thinking positive. Even something as simple as telling someone you love their shirt! Not only does it make them feel good, it makes YOU feel good!
I can help you see yourself. I can show you that you are a stunning, formidable creature that deserves everything their heart desires. I see you and I see exactly how to highlight your best features. I know how to pull out your best smile – the one that comes out when you’re unabashedly happy. I know how to show you the fierce, badass babe that we all have locked up deep down. I can take you to the core of vulnerability and teach you that the place is a place of healing and wonder and power. I will take your insecurities and help you toss them out the window so that you can move forward as a strong, empowered, force to be reckoned with.
You deserve that. Believe that you are worthy of living your life the way you want to. Even if you have to fake it until you make it, someday you’ll realize that it’s finally true for you. And that day? It is a GOOD day.
Let me walk this path with you. I promise I will hold your hand the whole way. I will root for you and I will fight for you. Let’s do this together!
P.S. That badass babe up there? That’s ME. Thank you DJ for reminding me that I am gorgeous. You da best! If you want to see more of my very own session that I had done, you can see it here: http://princephotographyllc.com/mandas-bedroom-eyes/